


skyscrapers, please forgive me (i didn't mean a word i said)

by demonicxiconic



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angst, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Fighting, Flashbacks, Human AU, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Murder, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Mourning, Non-Consensual Kissing, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, alcohol mention, he's not doing it consciously but he is doing it nonetheless, this one's fuckeddd upppp, why do i put my boys through this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:54:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26442274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demonicxiconic/pseuds/demonicxiconic
Summary: title from skyscrapers by ok go. please please please read the tags, know what you’re getting into before you read it.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 12





	skyscrapers, please forgive me (i didn't mean a word i said)

“It’s my fucking fault!”  
The wine bottle shattered against the wall, its last few sips dripping down to the floor. Cheap wine, not the expensive, fruity shit he’d liked.  
He picked up a dark shard of glass, gripping it so hard blood began to bead on his palm as he swung it at the canvas, tearing the painting’s face in two with a satisfying rrip. He dropped the glass, not bothering to clean the smear of red off of his hand.  
“I was the one that didn’t lock the bloody door! I was the one who didn’t think to- to- to protect you.”  
The last part was quiet and whimpering, the sound of an animal wounded beyond repair. He let out a guttural yell, breaking the silence as he grabbed a small potted plant and hurled it at the ground, breathing heavily as he watched its pieces fall apart across the kitchen, clumps of earth scattering across the tile.  
“I yelled at you, I fucking- I was insecure, and stupid, so goddamn stupid-“  
His voice cracked as he scrubbed a tear from his eye, leaving a streak of blood on his high cheekbones, where, only two days prior, someone had quietly planted a kiss.  
“I yelled at you.”  
His voice was fragile, he was fragile, and he felt himself shatter as easily as glass.  
“You were gay. She kissed you. You didn’t want it. You tried to tell me.”  
He let his long limbs crumple into a ball, hunched over in the middle of his living room, surrounded by broken things. He looked up, his brain screaming curses to the universe, to God, to himself, and grabbed the lamp from a coffee table, throwing it with a growl as he stood up. Its bulb cracked, pieces flying across the countertop as the shade’s frame bent irreversibly.  
If he was broken, everything in his life had to be as well.  
“I told you to stay here alone.”  
With a roar of frustration, he grabbed a vase from its spot next to the door, watching it explode into tiny shards with a sort of satisfaction. His fists were tight, so tight that his uncut nails bit into his palms.   
It wasn’t enough.  
He grabbed for a piece of vase, gripping it with white knuckles as angry tears began to fill his golden eyes.  
“God, I’m sorry, Aziraphale, and that doesn’t even mean anything, because you’re gone, you’re fucking GONE AND IT’S MY FAULT!”  
His ears were ringing. Blood was beginning to drip down his wrist.

Crowley slammed the door behind him as he stormed into their flat, Aziraphale following closely behind.  
“Darling, please-“  
“NO! I saw it, Aziraphale, I saw what I needed to see. You were kissing her, and you know it.”  
Crowley turned, and his eyes were burning with pain and disgust.  
“Crowley, you know that isn’t true! I know what happened to me, won’t you listen? I thought you trusted me!”  
“I did! I trusted you!”  
Aziraphale took a shaky breath, blinking away the tears forming in his eyes.  
“You’re being ridiculous, dear, and you know it. Just take a moment to think-“  
“I CAN’T! I can’t take a bloody moment, because this is happening now and it won’t stop! If I take a moment it’ll be worse!”  
Silence.  
“Crowley, she was drunk. Like you said, you saw it. I was uninterested and confused and I didn’t know how to get her off of m-“  
“FIGHT BACK, for fuck’s sake! Tell her no!”  
“Well I couldn’t exactly do that at the time, seeing as she was assaulting me.”  
“Push her off! I know you could’ve, I know how strong you are, you were kissing her and you didn’t stop it.”  
More silence.  
“I- I’m sorry you’re so angry about this, darling. I’ll give you some space.”  
Crowley nodded.  
“Yeah. We’ll- we’ll talk about this in the morning.”  
Crowley walked past his partner, refusing to look at him.  
“I love you.”  
He grabbed his car keys, opening the door and slipping outside before Aziraphale could say anything more.

Blood there’s blood everywhere oh god the carpet’s all red is that a hand does it have a ring oh god oh god Aziraphale Aziraphale please not my angel no no who did this it’s my fault who did this I’ll kill them it’s my fault it’s my fault I DID THIS

Crowley dropped the piece of vase, barely hearing it break as he stumbled forward, leaning heavily against the wall. The fingers on his left hand were almost slick with blood, and it dripped onto the floor as he made his way into their bedroom.

His bedroom, now.

He was alone, just like he’d wanted to be.

**Author's Note:**

> come yell at me on tumblr for being a terrible person https://demonicxiconic.tumblr.com


End file.
